Browsing Tag

personal

0 In Uncategorized

Life Update

Bloggers tend to have these incredibly nice posed pics every time they do a personal post, I’m not good at posing but I am good at standing.

I like reading about people’s life because I’m nosey as all hell about the people I care about, so I’m going to be a bit narcissistic and share a bit more about what is going on in my own life. I appreciate when you all do that and I can find out a bit more about you, because I care but also because I’m nosey.

It’s been a few months since I left London, 4 months actually. I miss it a great deal, but then I go back and realise I can do everything I love in a weekend and not be paying through the ass on rent. But then I miss being able to live ‘London life’, so to speak, everyday. I miss living in a huge, diverse city. I miss having loads on my doorstep, I miss my housemates and I even miss just getting on the Tube. London feels like home, but a home that wants me to pay soul crippling amounts in rent whilst earning a mediocre wage.

Right now I live with my parents, which is rather chill. It’s in a town, not a city, which sometimes feels ridiculously suffocating but I end up spending most of my time in Liverpool and Manchester. Most weeks I’m in a combo of both of the cities 3-4 days a week, so 3 at home ain’t all that bad. Plus the food here is banging compared to my lackluster efforts at cooking, though my attempts at being vegetarian have fell completely out of the window. We’ll try again soon.

Work wise, it has been a bit weird. I left my full-time job in December when I moved home. I felt as if I rushed from uni into full-time work and felt quite locked down, and not in the best headspace at times. I wrote a few pieces last year on stress and burning out, and I feel like working in a difficult environment egged that on. I moved away from that to work on what I want to do, to try out some other things and to get a bit more perspective before I go back into full-time employment, which is probably what I’ll end up doing. However, I do feel like I thrive in my own routine, in my own environment and as my own boss.

It’s weird that I’m currently a full time content creator, sure the content is a bit bizarre at time, but I’m technically my own business. A business with a terrible turnover and CEO who sits around in joggers with Drag Race on as he furiously types away, but a business none the less.

Oh and I also broke my finger, well fractured it. I like to be dramatic at times. My piano stand collapsed on my hand. Ironically I was setting it up so I could get back into playing, I haven’t been able to in almost a month because half of my left hand is taped together. Good going.

Recently I was asked to photograph my favourite band of all time, an absolutely wild proposition that came out of nowhere as I’m not a gig photographer. I’m a music journalist, reviewer, critic, editor, whatever you want to call it, but not a live gig photographer. I was going to take it up with some borrowed equipment but then realised with half my hand taped together I can barely hold a camera, let alone be changing settings and lenses in the dark. Maybe another time, but hey I still got invited to my favourite band’s show. That’s something I’ll harp on about forever.

It’s kinda weird that I can get access to some of these cool events and festivals due to my merits as a content creator and journalist, but can’t find a full time paying job in it, it’s a hard time for the creative industry and it feels almost impossible to break into it properly right now. I’m thinking about all these possible careers paths and not sure what I wanna do, I guess that’s normal for being 22. I just don’t want to get stuck down the wrong path and end up not enjoying what I do.

So anyway that’s a bizarre-o life update. I’m hoping to spend two months or so travelling in the summer but my plans keep coming together and falling apart, so we’ll see what happens there.

Who fucking knows is my life motto at this point.

9 In Uncategorized

Being a 22 Year Old Bisexual Man

A few weeks ago, maybe months ago, I posted a poll on Twitter about whether anyone would be interested in hearing the musings of a young man who identifies as bisexual. In all honesty, I sorta did that as away to force me to write about this, to write about something I purposely find difficult. I wanted to challenge myself because I’m supposed to be a writer and I think falling into comfort zones as a content creator of any kind is a major misstep.

Anyway, what came out of this was a bit of a spiel with no structure, no end, no coherent theme, because it’s more of just a string of thoughts and feelings connected together here rather than a distinct ‘article’ of kinds.

Despite being 22 and happily myself, I still feel some doubt, I still feel some fear, I still feel some shame at times. And that is completely fucking not ok.

I don’t always like to discuss my sexuality, I’ve never really been a relationship person, so it doesn’t really come into play that much, but I just don’t enjoy the conversations that often follow the dreaded ‘bisexual reveal’. There’s a slew of questions, so fucking many that I just can’t be arsed answering or are way too personal. I don’t like letting people know too much, or showing much emotion. These are both big ass flaws I’m trying to work on.

Going back a few years, I was at a friend’s 18th party I think. I mentioned that I was bisexual to said friend, someone else overheard and started to tell me her opinion on my sexuality. I didn’t know this girl’s name then and still don’t now, I took no interest in her at all as she, who had met me five minutes ago, thought her input on something so personal was important. It wasn’t.

However, I love that sense of closeness to the person I feel later on. If someone knows clearly where I stand, a sense of who I am, I love that. I love to have that personal connection, but I hate having the moment. Meaning that most of the time I just make it pretty clear without explicitly stating ‘Hi, I’m David, I identify as bisexual and we can now move on with our lives’.

One thing that is so annoying is that in general, society looks at bisexuals and immediately thinks that you’re gay or straight. However I’ve gotta admit, it is kinda fun too. Mentioning that a man, let’s say Jon Hamm, is extremely fit, and then mentioning that someone else, let’s say Blake Lively, is just as attractive to you, often gets people confused. It’s 2018 and I wanna make out with both of them, deal with it.

However I do possess a constant fear and worry that anyone in any relationship, friendship, workplace, whatever, will not accept my sexuality. But then again, those people aren’t worthy if they’re bigoted. Of course some people just need some gentle education as not everyone has grown up in the late nineties and early noughties. Not everyone comes from a home that allows you free reign over television and the internet to encounter LGBT representation, however ridiculously limited it is because society

The above does leave me not feeling comfortable enough to announce it to people at times. I had a coworker ask if I were gay after we discussed some hotties (as always) and I just couldn’t be arsed explaining, it’s effort. It was the response of ‘no’, which feels like a lie even though it’s not at all,I’m not gay after all. But I left the implication that I was straight, which too is a lie. Whatever though, I was leaving that place in about a week and just couldn’t be bothered with that discussion. However, I did leave feeling slightly defeated, I wanted to be the person that just reply ‘No, I’m bisexual’ and answered any questions with confidence and joy. Instead it felt like a chore, and I just wanted to leave and drink some mulled wine.

In myself, I’m happy and comfortable, it’s the crushing fear and weight of the world that weighs on me at times. It’s mainly the fear that I’ll fall for a straight dude, or fall in love with the perfect straight girl and she won’t be cool with me being me.

I see sexuality as a wonderful spectrum, it’s not binary. Gender is the same, it’s a scale where you can fit anywhere you identify. I often find myself at a 50/50 between being attracted to men and women, sometimes I find myself sliding up one end of that scale, other times if I’m attracted to one certain person, I’ll be way over on one end than the other. Sexuality is completely fluid, it’s not this thing that just sticks forever in a certain, decided manner. Our tastes change, our views change, our bodies change, everything on this fucking dead rock of a planet changes, so why wouldn’t your sexuality? It’s just really fucking annoying that the default setting on this planet is straight.

How many years of frustration would be saved, how many countless lives would still be here if that weren’t the case? Too many have died just for being themselves, too many have suffered. Too many still suffer and too many will still die for it.

Whilst your sexuality is not your choice in the slightest, man the amount of times I used to fucking WISH that I were just straight to make everything so much simple.

This essay, word spiel, whatever isn’t coming to any conclusion. There isn’t really one to make apart from just making thoughts and feelings public in the hope that people find it interesting, relatable, or educational. It’s a continuing story so we’ll see where we end up.

0 In Uncategorized

20 Facts About the Blogger

Over the last couple of days there’s been a trend on Instagram of stories featuring a couple of facts about bloggers, I have no idea where this began but if you do please let me know so that I can appropriately credit them here.

As it’s been a boatload of fun to read everyone’s facts and learn a bit more about the people I see on my timelines everyday, I thought I’d boost these 5 facts on stories to 20 facts in a bit more of a permanent place.

 1) I’m the youngest of 3 siblings, my two sisters are 11 and 12 years older than I am.

2) I’ve never broken a bone, though I once bruised the bone in my wrist by tripping over in heelies. I was 13. Far too old for heelies.

3) I’ve had a total of 10 housemates in my time, due to uni and house sharing in London. 10 is a whole lot of people to live with over a few years. I’ve had some fucking awful ones.

4) I spent a month travelling around Japan right before my final University exams, which meant that I was writing coursework on the bullet trains between cities.

5) I have a degree in law, a career path I don’t think I’ll actually ever end up going down.

6) I always studied very academic subjects despite deep down wanting to study things more creative. My jobs since leaving education have all relied on creativity, I don’t think I’ll be going back to academia anytime soon.

7) I identify as bisexual. I’ve got a post in the works on this, though it’s a topic I don’t really discuss that much. I always knew growing up that I didn’t feel ‘straight’, leading to a lot of confusion during my teens until I just accepted that I’m attracted to what I’m attracted to at around age 18.

8) When I was 21 I quit my only job to go to V Festival all so I could see Sia perform live. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get the time off work and absolutely hated the job so just threw the towel in and got in the car to head to V. That same day I watched Bastille perform, a band I knew little about bar their big hits, and then fell completely in love with their music. I’ve seen them 9 times since then.

9) I really dislike cooking so only make anything that’s quick, easy and cheap. Sounds like a description of me.

10) My absolute worst habit is biting my nails, I’ve been trying to stop for years but always fail. Currently I’m trying to incentivise myself with a record if I don’t bite my nails for a week. It’s not working yet.

11) Cereal is my favourite food, specifically an off brand Krave called Chocolatey Checkers that don’t exist anymore. I contacted the brand multiple times to find out if they’ll ever bring it back, it’s a solid no.

12) I aim to visit 25 countries by the age of 25. As of right now I’m at 18 with the vast majority being in Europe, I’m hoping to expand this to South American and Oceanian countries in the 2 1/2 years I have until I hit 25.

13) I took up archery for a while because I really admired Katniss Everdeen. I was mediocre.

14) When watching TV shows and films, I get very invested in them and must know everything about the world, the behind the scenes, the character’s backstories and motivations, the source material, etc. Watching Game of Thrones ended with me intensely studying theories night after night for months after finishing the books (which also took months to get through)

15) My poison of choice is whisky/whiskey. This all came about because I watched Mad Men, in which every person bloody drinks whiskey all the live long day. Turns out I actually really do like it.

16) I love anime, I spent my teens watching series after series and collecting all of the merchandise. I still love anime as a form of storytelling, though I began to enjoy watching more western series so that I could discuss it and theorise with my friends in real life, rather than discussing it with small English speaking communities online. I still watch anime, though I struggle to find the time these days. My favourite series, that everyone should watch, is Puella Magi Madoka Magica and my favourite animation studio is SHAFT.

17) Glass Animals are one of my favourite bands, I watched their Glasto set as BBC iPlayer put it on straight after Lorde’s. Immediately I knew that I was going to be head over heels for their music. I forgot about them until a few weeks later I saw Dave (frontman) in a bar I was in with a friend but couldn’t place him. Later I put their music on during the bus ride home and haven’t stop listening to them since.

18) I love to run, even though I’m shit at it. I have a knee injury which flares up almost every time I road run or run 5km or more, meaning that I barely go as much as I used to.

19) A huge percentage of my friends I met online. I find it strange looking back at it now, that some of the people I consider extremely important in my life now I met through a mutual love of Pokemon in our early teens!

20) Once John Stamos changed his Twitter bio to a Mean Girls reference because of my tweet. This is my true legacy.

I tag 12 blogging buddies I’d like to know more about:

Midnight and Lace

Stylefade

Halo of Thoughts

Luisa Christie

Joseph Burrows

Modish Male

A Bloke’s Eye View

Ryan Mules

Maff Jones

Mr. Carrington

Squibb Vicious
Life With Maria

+ everyone else because I want to know more about my friends. That sounded almost nice, that’s not on brand for me.

0 In Uncategorized

What it’s like to work from home

Working from home. It’s not like how Fifth Harmony said it would be.



Here are 10 thoughts I’ve jotted down in my first few weeks of working from home after working in an office 9-5 everyday.


I know, a listicle. What is this, Buzzfeed in 2014? Well that’s exactly what I base each and every decision in my life off of.

1) Getting up in the morning is an absolute Brandon Flowers (read: a Killer)


2) Not leaving the house for days on end sounds ideal when you’re commuting on a cramped train at 8am, when it’s your fifth day in the house, the outside world feels like fiction.

3) But being able to watch Netflix on your lunch break is revolutionary.

4) Being your own boss can be hard, if you’re not sat at your desk by 9am, you’re the only one who’s gonna be pissed off about it, because you’ll have to work harder and later.

5) Joggers and pajama pants are the real MVP. I treated myself to a pair of Adidas joggers on Black Friday and I think I’ve worn them so much that they can be legally considered a part of my body.

6) It’s lonely! You see a good tweet and the only way to share it is via social media, you can’t laugh in person with anyone! Your laughter is solitary! Copyright that before Next start selling a print for your bedroom saying ‘laughter is solitary’

7) Snacking is the enemy. I won’t say that I ate an entire packet of Bourbons whilst at my laptop the other day, but I WILL say that chocolate biscuit crumbs do really get stuck in your keyboard.

8) Your surroundings get so repetitive, though that’s the same in any job that I’ve worked. Whether it’s in an office, or retail, or whatever, spending a lot of time in one place can be a bit numbing.

9) After work drinks were a bit of a perk that I do miss, but I can have after work drinks alone in the bath now, and I think that’s the winner.

10) There’s no one to judge you for being completely gross, not showering and working from bed whilst chugging coffee like no tomorrow. Bliss.

To my fellow workers from home, may the force be with you! With all of you who have to go to a physical place of work everyday, may the force be with you. We all need it in the working life.


If you have any tips on working from home or just any advice on freelancing, it would all be much appreciated!

0 In Uncategorized

Goodbye 2017!

2017 is coming to a close, here we are on the last day of the year. You BET I can’t fucking wait to make a joke about not having showered since last year, though I shower so infrequently I could make that joke now and mean 2016.

Last year I wrote a bit of a similar spiel to cover my year, to have a long ass list of what I did that year forever. It’s nothing of any quality, but it’s a nice thing to have to look back at.

 

 

 January. I opened this year by standing at Point Hill in Greenwich overlooking central London and the famous London NYE fireworks. They looked kinda tiny from that far away, London is a giant ass place. Amy and I went back to my new house, drank some prosecco and fell asleep at like 2am, it was clearly quite wild. A few days later I started my new job, as a social media and website intern (later becoming assistant) for a charity based in East London. I was all alone in this big city living with people I didn’t know then, but who went on to become like family to me. The rest of January was spent finding my feet in this new city I lived in. And at a conference in Morecambe, where it promptly pissed down. Whilst there I met and befriended so many people who are big parts of my life now, and also met Laura who I already knew through the wonderful world of Twitter, despite the two of us having 0 clue we were on the same internship scheme. Wild. The most important part of January was going to the Tate Modern for the first time. My favourite gallery, my favourite spot to have a coffee and take in the London skyline. I miss that place already.

Continue Reading →