INTERVIEWED: Rogues and Brogues

Welcome to Interviewed, a series of chats and conversations with creators of all kinds.

D: Who are you and what do you do online?

I: I’m Ian, a 30 something (let’s not get too bogged down with exact ages) from Belfast and I’m the creator of Rogues+Brogues.

D: How did you get your start as a blogger?

I: In a previous job, I was the digital marketing manager in charge of wrangling all the blogger content. I spotted that at that time there wasn’t a bit male blogger population, especially in Belfast, so thought I could share my thoughts and experiences.

View Post

Being a 22 Year Old Bisexual Man

A few weeks ago, maybe months ago, I posted a poll on Twitter about whether anyone would be interested in hearing the musings of a young man who identifies as bisexual. In all honesty, I sorta did that as away to force me to write about this, to write about something I purposely find difficult. I wanted to challenge myself because I’m supposed to be a writer and I think falling into comfort zones as a content creator of any kind is a major misstep.

Anyway, what came out of this was a bit of a spiel with no structure, no end, no coherent theme, because it’s more of just a string of thoughts and feelings connected together here rather than a distinct ‘article’ of kinds.

Despite being 22 and happily myself, I still feel some doubt, I still feel some fear, I still feel some shame at times. And that is completely fucking not ok.

I don’t always like to discuss my sexuality, I’ve never really been a relationship person, so it doesn’t really come into play that much, but I just don’t enjoy the conversations that often follow the dreaded ‘bisexual reveal’. There’s a slew of questions, so fucking many that I just can’t be arsed answering or are way too personal. I don’t like letting people know too much, or showing much emotion. These are both big ass flaws I’m trying to work on.

Going back a few years, I was at a friend’s 18th party I think. I mentioned that I was bisexual to said friend, someone else overheard and started to tell me her opinion on my sexuality. I didn’t know this girl’s name then and still don’t now, I took no interest in her at all as she, who had met me five minutes ago, thought her input on something so personal was important. It wasn’t.

However, I love that sense of closeness to the person I feel later on. If someone knows clearly where I stand, a sense of who I am, I love that. I love to have that personal connection, but I hate having the moment. Meaning that most of the time I just make it pretty clear without explicitly stating ‘Hi, I’m David, I identify as bisexual and we can now move on with our lives’.

One thing that is so annoying is that in general, society looks at bisexuals and immediately thinks that you’re gay or straight. However I’ve gotta admit, it is kinda fun too. Mentioning that a man, let’s say Jon Hamm, is extremely fit, and then mentioning that someone else, let’s say Blake Lively, is just as attractive to you, often gets people confused. It’s 2018 and I wanna make out with both of them, deal with it.

However I do possess a constant fear and worry that anyone in any relationship, friendship, workplace, whatever, will not accept my sexuality. But then again, those people aren’t worthy if they’re bigoted. Of course some people just need some gentle education as not everyone has grown up in the late nineties and early noughties. Not everyone comes from a home that allows you free reign over television and the internet to encounter LGBT representation, however ridiculously limited it is because society

The above does leave me not feeling comfortable enough to announce it to people at times. I had a coworker ask if I were gay after we discussed some hotties (as always) and I just couldn’t be arsed explaining, it’s effort. It was the response of ‘no’, which feels like a lie even though it’s not at all,I’m not gay after all. But I left the implication that I was straight, which too is a lie. Whatever though, I was leaving that place in about a week and just couldn’t be bothered with that discussion. However, I did leave feeling slightly defeated, I wanted to be the person that just reply ‘No, I’m bisexual’ and answered any questions with confidence and joy. Instead it felt like a chore, and I just wanted to leave and drink some mulled wine.

In myself, I’m happy and comfortable, it’s the crushing fear and weight of the world that weighs on me at times. It’s mainly the fear that I’ll fall for a straight dude, or fall in love with the perfect straight girl and she won’t be cool with me being me.

I see sexuality as a wonderful spectrum, it’s not binary. Gender is the same, it’s a scale where you can fit anywhere you identify. I often find myself at a 50/50 between being attracted to men and women, sometimes I find myself sliding up one end of that scale, other times if I’m attracted to one certain person, I’ll be way over on one end than the other. Sexuality is completely fluid, it’s not this thing that just sticks forever in a certain, decided manner. Our tastes change, our views change, our bodies change, everything on this fucking dead rock of a planet changes, so why wouldn’t your sexuality? It’s just really fucking annoying that the default setting on this planet is straight.

How many years of frustration would be saved, how many countless lives would still be here if that weren’t the case? Too many have died just for being themselves, too many have suffered. Too many still suffer and too many will still die for it.

Whilst your sexuality is not your choice in the slightest, man the amount of times I used to fucking WISH that I were just straight to make everything so much simple.

This essay, word spiel, whatever isn’t coming to any conclusion. There isn’t really one to make apart from just making thoughts and feelings public in the hope that people find it interesting, relatable, or educational. It’s a continuing story so we’ll see where we end up.

HOW TO SPEND A DAY IN ALTERNATIVE TALLINN, ESTONIA

Welcome back to beautiful Tallinn, Estonia. Last time we look at the picturesque Old Town, today we’re going to be crossing the tracks into Telliskivi and leaving the Old Town heading into the centre of modern Tallinn.

Turg Market

 Above you can see Turg market, also known as Baltic Station Market. Aptly named, as it’s quite literally on the wrong side of the tracks, or what used to be the wrong side of the train station during the Soviet Occupation of Estonia.

Today Tallinn station still sits in the same location, however the surrounding area has been completely reborn. Turg market houses over 300 stalls, which span food kiosks, independent craft stalls focusing on Estonian goods and a flea market selling everything and anything.

This is a great place to start your day as you can grab a breakfast of pastries and coffee. Or Mexican food if you fancy it, I don’t rule your life.

View Post

Can I live a more sustainable life?* [AD]

Today we’re talking sustainability, today we’re talking ethically, today we’re talking the many ways you and I can improve our lives and reduce our impact upon this beautiful blue and green planet we call home. Sustainability has been a topic of discussion on social media lately and it’s got me thinking about all the completely wasteful things I’ve been doing in my life. Let’s run through a couple ways of being more sustainable and ethical in our living.

Reduce your emissions whilst travelling

I’m one of those people who says ‘we can walk it’, even if the journey is about 40 minutes on foot. But if we CAN walk it why not? I wanna see the world…and save money. I don’t own a car, so I often rely on public transport. When I lived in London, this was the norm and it was much easier to live without a car than to live with one. Now I live outside of London, the lack of car is a *little* bit more limiting, however I make do. If you have the resources to, switching to an electric vehicle can have a massive effect on the environment. Plus you get to drive a silent car and that’s very Blade Runner. I used to live near a few charging points, meaning tons of electric cars gliding around very smoothly. The Tesla 3 is coming out, if we all had the budget, I’m sure we’d be right on it. Electric cars are becoming more and more accessible, especially with the NewMotion charging station. There are over 50,000 NewMotion charging points across Europe, so it’s a thing of the past to be worried about where to plug in your car. Plug in your is a very fun sentence to say, we really do live in the future.

View Post

INTERVIEWED: UNLIKELY DAD

Welcome to INTERVIEWED, a series of chats and discussions with all kinds of creators.

Today we’re joined by a wonderful Dad blogger, Tom also known as The Unlikely Dad.

D: Who are you and what do you do online? 

T: My name is Tom and I blog over at theunlikelydad.com. I share my daily life as a gay, adoptive dad.

View Post