Welcome to INTERVIEWED, a series of chats and discussions with all kinds of creators.
Today we’re joined by a wonderful Dad blogger, Tom also known as The Unlikely Dad.
D: Who are you and what do you do online?
T: My name is Tom and I blog over at theunlikelydad.com. I share my daily life as a gay, adoptive dad.
D: How did you get started as a blogger?
T: I always thought that I wanted to blog. But as a young man I never really had a solid, proper interest in anything specific. I wasn’t the next big fashionista and I liked all sorts of music and activities. Nothing was pinned down or specific enough for me to write and share about. Until I became a Dad.
I had gone through the adoption process and found my beautiful little boy. I knew I had to talk about this to help other adopters and/or LGBT parents wanting to build their families. And from that, it has blossomed into so much more and I have my son to thank for it all.
D: Have you always focused on parenting topics and adoption?
T: Yes I have, pretty much. My words are very emotion led and my Instagram is all about me as a dad and family life. But I like to steer off every now and then and talk about myself and who I am, not just as the father that I am. Eventually I guess I’ll be an older dad with a son who has moved out… then my channels may look a lot different?
D: You’ve been so open about the very personal and hard process of adoption, which is absolutely amazing and needed. How was it to share such personal things with strangers?
T: I genuinely wonder sometimes if I have been too honest and open, but otherwise it wouldn’t have been real and I can’t hold back the truth. Adoption is huge. And it deserves the honesty. If anything to help and guide the prospective adopters starting their journey. I have received such amazing feedback from followers on my social media. I get messages that sometimes that I can’t believe are meant for me. One mum got in touch recently to say how she knew her son was gay but he hadn’t come out yet and reading my blog helped her come to terms with the fact that he CAN have all the ‘normal’ things she wanted for him and that being gay is no hindrance.
I’ll never forget that, and it’s 100% why I do it all. To hopefully show that I am ‘normal’ (what even is normal?) but we’re all just on this journey doing our thing and you can achieve what you want from your life regardless of sexuality.
D: How do you find a balance between your busy family life and your online content creation? I find it tough enough without a family!
T: Truthfully… I don’t know how I do it sometimes. I work a 9-5 job five days a week that’s quite demanding. Creating content with a kid can be easy sometimes, they have so many milestones and photo opportunities happen almost every day. But writing can be hard, it’s finding the time to sit and actually think. But I guess i am lucky he is a sleeper and is always in bed by 7:30pm. I’m also extremely lucky in having my husband on this journey with me. Without him, I have zero idea how any of this would have happened. We made the sacrifice when our boy came into our lives that he’d leave his job to be the main carer and what a job he does. I am very, very lucky.
D: What in your life changed the most when having a child in it?
T: Time and energy. You really do lose time for yourself. I often remember what it was like waking up late on a Saturday, having no plans, deciding to go into town for brunch, have a mooch of the shops, and then see friends. Actually, saying that, if you see my Instagram stories then you know we probably do a lot of that still! But with a child your priorities are different. You can’t be lazy. You’re ‘always on’ and when they’ve woken up a 4am, you’re in for a loooong day!
I should also say what’s changed the most is love. A love you had no idea of ever experiencing suddenly lands in your heart. And it’s the most beautiful, all consuming thing. You’re thrusted into this world of milestones, baby groups, nurseries, nappies, but it’s amazing all the same.
D: What piece of your own content are you most proud of? And do you have any favourite family memories?
T: Oh so many family memories. Our first holiday, family parties, weddings, even the boring Sundays staying at home with nanny and grandad popping in. With a child it all changes and so much light is brought to the room. To the family too. It’s brought all all so close.
My favourite piece of content? I recently wrote ‘an open letter to the lady brunch’, who told us off for letting the kids be kids.
D: Which content creators are you a big fan of?
T: When I started blogging I really wasn’t aware of the online parenting world out there and I soon got up to speed! There are SO MANY amazing mums and dads creating brilliant, helpful and supportive content. My favourites include Mother Pukka (a one woman mission to bring proper flexible working to the UK!) and You The Daddy, doing it for the dads by creating his own #Dadtribe!
D: What’s your Hogwarts House?
T: Okay, don’t shoot me I haven’t seen a single Harry Potter film!
D: What’s your favourite movie?
T: I am such a sci fi geek, s I would pick between Contact, Aliens, Lucy and/or Interstellar! Anything that f**ks with your mind basically.
D: Who’s your favourite artist/band?
T: Lady Gaga. Little Monster for LIFE!
Catch up on all other interviews here.