It seemed that my last long, wordy post was well received, as well received as a post on a blog only averaging around 250 views a month can! I have a whole list of these that I want to type out at some point, however I don’t want to force them. I like to write them when I have a sudden itch to word out all of the feelings, thoughts and questions that I have at that time.
When I decided to start writing longer style posts, it stemmed from a thought of ‘What do I wish I had been told in high school?’ and you BET there are a ton of these. An absolute ton. So I’ve decided to write some of these things out, in the hopes that it will help somebody, or maybe some people out there going through the same, or similar things.
Ps. I realise this says number 2, I’m counting my post on Outgrowing Friendships as the flagship post for this series, which now has a name! (Things I wished to know)
This time, I’ve decided to focus on career goals. For some context, I’m now 19, in my second year of studying law at university, just about reaching the half way point of my time here. By June 2016, I should (hopefully) be out into the real world. And I don’t have a donkey what I’ll be doing.
It’s around this time of year that law students start taking their first real step onto the path of becoming a lawyer. Which means, almost everyday, I am faced with the question: ‘So how’s applying for vacation schemes going?’ to which I have to reply that I’m not. I wish the conversation ended there, but it generally goes into, what do I want to do, which ends up with me saying ‘I kinda wanna do internet things and write’ which doesn’t really get too much of a response. I mean how could it? I’m studying law, yet I want to write fiction for a living. I want to film dumb challenge videos and share them with the internet. I want to write big essays and take nice pictures to put on my own website for people to see. I study law yet don’t really feel like doing law after university. When I tell people this, I tend to add ‘Well not straight away at least.’, to buffer it a little, but if I didn’t ‘do’ law ever, I don’t think I’d be too distraught.
My career goal has changed so many times in my life. It changes a couple times a year, or sometimes stays as a static ‘I don’t know’. None of the goals I used to have ever felt right for me. When I said them out loud it almost sounded like a lie. Now, my goals feel more real, albeit maybe less achievable than some.
Here’s a couple of the goals I’ve had in my life:
- Astronaut (I mean, I’m the right height)
- Train driver (I then became deathly afraid of trains for a while, I don’t know why, now I love to ride that rail. In other words, I had to get trains twice a day for a year of my life.)
- Physicist (Update: it is not like The Big Bang Theory, and even if it is, with the way that show has gone I don’t want it to be!)
- Musician (Ironically, I now own an electric piano which I play for fun, with no goal of being in a band)
- Textbook writer (Very specific and now I realise, a very boring aspiration)
- TV Presenter (This is still a little bit of a dream)
- YouTuber (If one day my YouTube blows up, I’d have this as a full-time career in a heartbeat)
- Blogger (Same as above)
- Writer/Author (This is one of my current goals. Although, all I’ve written in the past few months has been essays, blogposts, and a few sides of A4 of free-writing to clear my head. I used to write all the time, I’ve wanted to write a book since I was 14! I should finally do it! )
These are only the few that I remember. I know many times my career goal has changed a few times in a week. I’ve been jealous of those who have always known what they wanted to be, a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, a laywer, whatever it is. I’m at that stage in my life where I’m seeing so many people go down those paths, and I feel like I’m sort of running around in the background, trying everything yet not committing to a single thing.
I guess that’s okay though, I’m not alone in this. I know so many people with no ideas of what they want to do when they graduate. I know so many law students in the exact same position as me.
I just worry sometimes about what I am going to do. I so badly want to achieve so many things, yet so much of it rests on chance. It could happen so fast. What if a YouTuber with over 1 million subscribers mentions me in a video? What if someone with millions of Twitter followers tweets one of my blogposts? Immediately, my content would be open to so many people. There’s a chance that I would immediately have a career. How insane is that?!
One thing I truly want to do, is to write a book by the time I graduate. At least then I can have accomplished the author goal and sort of have a job to leave to. I know publishing a book isn’t much easier than trying to gain an internet following, and all of my goals probably aren’t the sanest, but so many people do all of those things, so why not me? (Ps. Expect a post in the coming weeks on how the phrase ‘Why not me?’ changed my entire perspective on life)
So I’m gonna keep going after these crazy goals, they’re the closest thing to a real career aspiration that I have. Maybe this blog will lead somewhere. If not it’s my little corner of the internet and I love it. Maybe I will find the time to write a novel, and maybe it’ll go to number 1 of the charts and maybe there will be a film, and maybe it will star Emma Watson AND Adam Sandler as the new hit comedic duo. Who knows. After typing this all out, I feel a little better, I don’t know in what way, but I feel better.
Do any of you struggle with job goals? Or knowing what you’re going to do after education? If you’re out of education, do you do what you aimed to do? Are there things you’re still chasing? Let me know, these things interest me a lot!