Today I feel like I’m channeling SprinkleofGlitter today, because I’m doing a ‘meaningful’ (for lack of a better word) post today, about feelings and stuff like that rather than what Lush product I dip my body in on a daily basis.
This week has been quite busy which has been fun, but my anxiety levels have been higher than usual, which has ruined my sleeping pattern, all because I’m worrying about things that really don’t need to be worried about, or at least, worried about yet.
Remember this analogy for later, I’m going to explain it in the end: this week I accidentally had sour milk on my cereal, which tasted gross, caused me to throw away cereal which once was perfectly good, and made me feel ill for a few hours. I tried to have cereal this morning and I couldn’t tell if the milk was sour or not, even though I’m pretty much 100% it wasn’t, but it’s still in my head that all milk in the house must be sour.
A worry that I let slip through the metaphorical cracks this week has been ‘What the hell am I going to do with my life if all doesn’t go to plan?!’ Which, I really don’t have an answer for yet, I still have a while to decide that one, but it’s played on my mind a little. What if blogging and YouTube never work out for me, and I can’t work somewhere creative- will I have to remove my entire online presence, something that’s become a huge part of my life, and work in a job I hate, day in day out?
The answer to that is simply ‘no’. Instead of that, I can just ensure that I work somewhere in which creativity is encouraged. Rather than worrying about something that isn’t going to happen, I should focus on where I’m going to get to in the next few years. I work hard on my videos and blog, even if it doesn’t look that way, I really do try and spend a good few hours a week working on them, and I can only look forward to a time when working on them will fill my entire week, every week. I hate quotes generally, especially those ones that everyone knows because they tend to be ripped out of context and used to justify things that really shouldn’t be justified by a line said by an uncredited someone, hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago, but I’m going to use a quote (which origins I have no clue about) here: ‘When there’s a will there’s a way’.
I’m sure I’m going to get to the place I want with my career because I’m going to make sure I will.
Back to that milk analogy: I let a small fear get into my head, and it’s ruined breakfast (the BEST meal of the day, if you think otherwise, I will fight you) for a couple of days. Just like how I let in the fear of ending up, what present me would consider, not necessarily a failure, but what present me doesn’t want to be. And I’ve let that disrupt my thinking process for a few days.
Writing it all out here has really helped, and I hope that this helps at least one person out there reading this!